Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say it, and When to Listen (Paperback)
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New York Times bestselling author and host of the podcast Nurture vs Nurture Dr. Wendy Mogel “teaches parents the dialect needed to converse with their daughters and sons at every stage of life” (Chicago Tribune).
Dr. Wendy Mogel, “one of the most astute psychologists on the planet (Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit) observed a pattern in her practice: when parents speak to their children their pitch tends to rise, and they come across as pleading, indignant, wounded, outraged. Their tone and body language signal, I can’t handle it when you act like a child. In response, Dr. Mogel developed a remarkably effective series of “voice lessons,” for parents who were struggling to communicate. The results were immediate: a shift in vocal style led to calmer kids, who listened more attentively and responded with warmth, respect, and sincerity.
In Voice Lessons for Parents, Mogel elaborates on her novel clinical approach, revealing how each age and stage of a child’s life brings new opportunities to connect . Drawing from a range of sources including neuroscience, fairy tales, and anthropology, Mogel offers specific guidance for talking to children across the expanse of childhood and adolescence. She also explains the best ways to talk about your child to partners, exes, and grandparents, as well as to teachers, coaches, and caretakers. And she addresses the distraction of digital devices—how they impact our interactions with our families, and what we can do about it.
About the Author
Wendy Mogel, PhD, is a practicing clinical psychologist, international public speaker, and the author of Voice Lessons for Parents, the New York Times bestseller The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, and The Blessing of a B Minus. She is also the host of Nurture vs Nurture, a new podcast from Armchair Expert, and lives in Los Angeles. Please visit her website at WendyMogel.com.
"In this brilliant, compassionate book, Wendy Mogel has something to offer every parent. By practicing what Mogel recommends, parents will find the dance they do with their children as they wend their way to adulthood less uncertain, less painful, and more joyful that it is now. Read it and teach yourself how to do it."
—Barry Schwartz, author of Practical Wisdom and Why We Work
"Wisdom for parents of children of all ages from one of the most astute psychologists on the planet. Dr. Mogel explains the art and science of communicating with the people you love most."
—Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit
“In this intelligent and useful book, Wendy Mogel explains how the tenor of your remarks may make as much difference as their content. In accessible terms, she shows how minor adjustments may help lower the inherent tension of parent-child relationships.”
—Andrew Solomon, bestselling author of Far From the Tree
“For all parents who have heard themselves yell when they meant to simply question, or have clammed up when they meant to be curious (and that, of course, is all of us) here’s your new bible. With her trademark deep empathy, Mogel once again is absolutely on point as she challenges parents to talk to their children compassionately, and to listen a whole lot more. How lovely to hear her sage voice in these pages.”
—Madeline Levine, PhD., author of The Price of Privilege
“Generous and wise…Wendy Mogel gives me the rare and comforting feeling that parenting problems actually have solutions. She delivers these not as rules from on high, but as a series of insights that credit our intelligence and bring out our best selves.”
—Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé